


Mazes Are a Metaphor of For Your Love Life

by SomeUnicorns



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Every couple gets a little scene (besides Ushijima but he’s fine with it), Gargoyles, Gift Exchange, Gift Fic, Heavy flirting, I can't write fight scenes, M/M, Oikawa might be extra in this (he’s going through a rough patch), Tengu, Witches, fantasyhaikyuuexchange2019, iwa-chan is important, pre-slash Ennoshita Chikara/Futakuchi Kenji, silly jokes, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 06:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21266621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeUnicorns/pseuds/SomeUnicorns
Summary: Brilliant, popular, modest (and recently single) Witch Oikawa Tooru is on a quest to overcome his relationship problems. Perhaps he’ll find the solution to his romance woes at the end of this maze (and beat all the other monsters while he’s at it).





	Mazes Are a Metaphor of For Your Love Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mistellation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistellation/gifts).

> Written for fantasyhaikyuuexchange2019. This became longer than planned.

It was a warm autumn night. The moon, having ended its waning, was void, containing no light, much like Oikawa Tooru’s love life. 

Oikawa had no trouble _ getting _ dates. He was tall, personable, charming, pretty (pretty _ handsome _), a student-athlete, academically gifted, the top-ranked Witch in his district, and Student Leader of Aoba Josei’s Enchanted Student Union (ESU). 

Oikawa’s relationship troubles stemmed from the misleading impression that because Oikawa was charming, athletic, academic, and popular, he was also some sort of shallow playboy who only dated other people (human or otherwise) causally.

His relationships didn’t last long and always ended on the terms of the other party. 

_ “Uh, I thought a popular guy like you wouldn’t be so needy.” _

_ “Why are you so upset? I didn’t think you’d cry. You break up with people all the time!” _

Oikawa liked to think he wasn’t a terrible person. Sure, he was probably terrible sometimes. Most people are terrible sometimes. But he at least liked to think he wasn’t as shallow as people thought he was. 

His best friend Iwa-Chan was a good person, (vampire, vam-_ person _) so Oikawa had to be at least kind of OK, right? So how come he could never get a girlfriend or boyfriend that was ready to commit? 

He wanted a sincere, lovey-dovey kind of relationship. One that wouldn’t end in under a week. 

Tonight, he would have the chance to improve his lovey-dovey kind of luck.

Currently, Oikawa was sneaking around a dark, shadowy garden maze. Why? Because reasons.

It was the annual ESU regional meetup. Students (the ones that weren’t human) across the Miyagi district came every first New Moon of October to have a formal meetup. There were presentations, recognition awards, a ball and a banquet. For the more daring, ambitious students, there was a final competition held past midnight. Only the student leaders, or those with noted skills, were allowed to compete. 

The winner, or winners (students from the same team were allowed to compete as a group) received a prize of magical significance. Oikawa competed every year for the fun of it. He didn’t care about the prizes, per se. He was a _ Witch._ He could alchemize or brew or craft any magical item he wanted.

The prize this year, however, was different. Somewhere, hidden among the maze, was the Loveluck Lillium. The Loveluck Lilium was supposedly grown in the garden of a legendary Witch. She was said to have devoted her entire life to cultivating love and bonds between people. She was basically a Relationship and Marital Counselor before there was a word for that job. 

Those in the presence of the Loveluck Lilium were rumored to gain lasting luck in relationships. It was rumored that couples who traveled to see it before marriage lived in long, lasting devotion to each other until death. 

The Loveluck Lilium was famous among the Witch Community. Urban Legend was all it was. It was just a rare type of flower. Several Magical botanists had studied and propagated its seedlings to confirm it held no Magical Potency at all. 

To be honest, Oikawa didn’t believe the Loveluck Lilium had any power, either. He was a Witch of Science. However, he still wanted the flower. He was a Witch of Winning, too. He could study it himself. The rumors _ might _be true. And he didn’t think that way just because he was soul-crushingly desperate to enter a meaningful bond with someone in this great big universe. And he definitely wasn’t ignoring his rational, academic side that said the whole thing was stupid and he shouldn’t bother chasing down a silly rumor. 

He wasn’t desperate. He liked to win, _ OK? _ Speaking of winning, Oikawa thought he had a pretty good chance tonight (though he wasn’t about to underestimate his competition). There were some tricky boys about, somewhere in this maze that smelled really nice and flowery but was actually dark and spooky, with high hedge walls of poisonous thorns and flowers. Ushiwaka-chan, who won the competition last year, was here. And he’d seen that the bothersome Karasuno birdies were flocking about too. 

Oikawa was the only one from his team playing this year. Iwa-chan and him always did these things together, because they were #besties-for-life, but Iwa-chan didn’t want to join him this year, despite how much Oikawa had begged.

_ “I’m not doing it. You’re acting desperate and the look in your eyes is creepy. Go by yourself.” _

Sometimes, even your Best Friend could be cold and heartless and unsupportive in your quest for love.

Oikawa was by himself. 

He had to be careful for now. He hadn’t even cranked out his only spell— a mist spell to obscure the cover the maze from the top, so the other players wouldn’t be able to move about so freely. (He was holding out for until after he ran into the Shiratorizawa gargoyles.) 

Shiratorizawa’s attack style were those of Ambush Predators. They’d pick out a spot to perch from high above, then wait for a victim to come under their striking range to attack. Gargoyles were also keen of sight, so a Mist Cover would not only give them more opportunities to hide, but it wouldn’t affect their sight at all either.

Oikawa was going to figure out exactly where Shiratorizawa was before he released his spell.

He _ thought _ he was on the right trail. 

The sound of his own footsteps made him nervous, though he needn’t be in the term of the gargoyles, who had very sharp eyesight and scent, but extremely poor hearing, he reassured himself. 

“Hey!”

Because Oikawa was looking for quiet gargoyles, the sudden yell, about 15 feet northwest of him, made him jump. Had he been spotted? He looked up. No. The voice came from across, muffled by the walls, not from any gargoyles above. It was too far away to tell what was going on. Concentrating more, Oikawa slowed his heartbeat and softened his breathing. He could hear two voices conversing.

He quickly doubled back in the maze and took a turn to snoop closer. Maybe he could sneak up on whoever was fighting and take them both out. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Whoever had yelled certainly hadn’t been thinking to hide their position. What an idiot. Come to think of it, Oikawa was pretty sure it had been Terushima’s voice. 

He crept closer.

Yes. It _ was _Terushima. The ringleader of the Ghouls. Terushima was looking up at someone. Oikawa couldn’t see who it was from his position, and he didn’t dare get any closer, so he dropped to an army crawl.

Terushima sneered at the Karasuno Captain, Daichi, who was perched on top of the maze wall, eyeing him down. Was there really only one of the Tengu about? They usually marauded about in a murder. Oikawa hoped more weren’t hiding somewhere nearby, ready to attack in the wings.

Terushima had shed his human form, now in his natural complexion of moldy gray Ghoul skin, yellow fingernails, and bloodshot eyes. He had apparently shed his shirt somewhere too, and was bare-chested in a pair of jeans that looked like they were a few years behind the washing schedule, with a few tears that probably weren’t for fashion purposes. Oh. Also, it looked like Terushima had gotten more piercings in since last time Oikawa had seen him shirtless at a formal gathering! 

Oikawa wondered if he’d resort to a lot of piercings if he too wore undead flesh that felt only adrenaline when it was stabbed. Probably not. 

Daichi stared down evenly at Terushima, not in rigid anger or frustration but in a sort of calm sternness. Iwaizumi gave Oikawa that exact look sometimes when Oikawa was _ really _ in trouble.

“Hey, you better not fly away on me, Tengu, I got a bone to pick with you,” said Terushima, snapping his finger joints methodically, popping them in and out of alignment.

Daichi crossed his arms solidly, his face minutely shifting into a small, courteous smile that was not kind at all. 

“Let me give you some constructive advice, Captain,” said Daichi down at Terushima, “If you pick fights with every opponent you see, you’ll never reach the prize in time.”

“Prize? I don’t care about some smelly flower—I went in this maze to stir up some fun! TO FIGHT!_ I wannafight! _ I want to _ disrespect my surroundings_. I want to _ punch someone in the face!_ I want to get! in! trouble!” Teru clawed at the walls of the maze as he shouted, ripping out handful after handful of vines. The sound of popping and tearing echoed about, along with the pungent smell of freshly cut greenery.

Daichi observed Terushima, unimpressed, like someone at a grocery store watching someone’s kid throw a tantrum. “You seem to always feel that way,” he said in a measuredly neutral voice. 

“Heck yeah! I totes feel like that all the _ freakin’ _ time! _ I’m a ghoul! _ A _ hell-raiser! _ A trickster, just like you, Tengu.” Terushima eyed Daichi up and down, before he continued.

“Ya know, I thought you Crow Boys were supposed to be nasty, tricky little meanies, like we Ghouls--but you aren’t like that at all. Honestly, It drives me crazy. You’re so dang straight and boooooring it makes me want to punch you in your rule-making! law-abiding! face!”

“A Tengu--or any monster--isn’t personally defined by their lore. They can only be fairly judged by their individual actions,” said Daichi, his tone of voice sounding like an old man trying to pass down a life lesson. 

Terushima kicked at the wall, leaves fluttering out in a poof. “UGH. What you said literally doesn’t mean anything! What you just said was like those positive nonsense statements boring Dads have on their coffee mugs. Why don’t you flap on down here so I can PUNCH YOU in the FACE!”

Oikawa was pretty far away, and it was dark, but he could have sworn he heard something in Daichi snap. Like a vein or something.

Daichi slowly unfurled his heavy black wings, stretching them to their full extent before nimbly stepping off his perch and landing squarely in front of Terushima.

Terushima stared at him like he hadn’t expected him to come down. He quickly recovered, grinning before, in a flash, he aimed a right hook at Daichi’s face. 

Unflinching, Daichi deflected his fist to the side, pushing Terushima to his left, sidestepping and turning around to watch Terushima tuck and roll back onto his feet in a snap.

Terushima paused to pointlessly brush some grime off his jeans.. “Ya know, for a Trickster, your moves are _ pret-ty _ basic.” 

“A solid foundation can withstand flimsy tricks,” said Daichi.

Terushima rolled his eyes so hard they rolled around the back of his skull before popping in front again. “Ugh--what’s the point of being a Trickster God, if you’re just going to be _ boring!!! _” he yelled.

In a second, he sprang forward and aimed a kick at Daichi’s face, leg snapping up in a way that a living human's simply could not.

Once again, Daichi deflected the kick with his forearm, stance spreading firmly as he deflected Tershima’s strike to his side.

Terushima rolled when he hit the ground, not as smoothly as his first recover, teetering a little after springing back to his feet. 

“Hah! Good catch,” Terushima said, bouncing on his heels and shaking his arms. “Nice reflexes.”

“I was sort of expecting it. This isn't the first time you’ve picked a fight with me at these kind of events.”

Terushima stomped angrily.

“Are you saying I’m predictable? RUDE!” Teru came back with a right upper hook. Daichi leaned back to avoid the hit, but Terushima followed through, bringing up his right elbow to try to catch Daichi under the chin.

Daichi narrowly avoided the uppercut and caught Terushima’s forearm. Next, he planted his feet firmly on the ground, solidly hoisting Terushima into the air, over his head, and fell backward. Teru slammed into the ground at full force.

It was just like the wrestling programs that Iwa-chan liked! 

Teru didn’t recover as quickly after this hit, having the breath (did Ghouls need to breathe?) knocked out of him. He rose to his feet, slowly, pushing one of his arms back into its socket.

Terushima glared coolly at Daichi. He began to approach the Tengu Leader. Daichi didn’t move, not even making a stance to brace himself for another hit.

Terushima stopped in front of him in a delinquent-like slouch. Daichi remained still, regarding him calmly but with a twinge of suspicion in his eyes. Terushima clenched a fist, pulling back like he was going to punch—but sighed, dropping his fist. He crossed his arms behind his neck, turning around to hide his face.

“Dang it. Here I go, thinking I’m hot shit, gonna punch you in the face, prove something, but there _ you _ go again--like every other time--being all righteous and reliable.” Teru picked out gravel from his arm that had gotten lodged in his skin with the impact. “Though--I guess I’ve seen what the guys in your crew act like. Should have been obvious you knew how to handle a rowdy boy.”

Daichi paused, testing to see if Teru was gonna throw a punch again, but when it was clear Teru was finished, he gave a smile.

“Well, my teammates certainly give me practice on how to handle wild cards. You know, you might be able to give them some trouble. They’re used to being the wildest creatures around and Ghouls like you could give them a run for their money.”

Teru clasped Daichi’s shoulder. “Hm. This ‘disciplined’ way you fight is an interesting strategy. Out-tricked my some of my tricks. What say, me, you, meet up somewhere and maybe you show me some of your _ other tricks? _ And maybe, you get to see more of mine?”

_ Wha? _ Was- Terushima was totally _ flirting _ with Daichi. Terushima liked Daichi? Oikawa hadn’t even noticed, and he was usually pretty good about spotting those kind of things. He supposed, in retrospect, Terushima always _ did _sort of wander around after Daichi during these kinds of meetings, cussing him out and challenging him to duels.

Daichi fist-bumped Terusuhima’s chest in a friendly manner. “That sounds like a solid plan. We can arrange a joint practice between our teams and exchange combat techniques. My flock would love that.”

Man, Captain Karasuno wasn’t stupid, but he sure was kind of dumb.

Terushima pouted. “Okay, _ sure _, we could do that--but that’s not what really what I MEANT.”

“What did you mean then?” asked Daichi.

“I was meaning that I think you’re a SNACK and we should go OUT or somethin' like that.”

Daichi remained bewildered. “A snack? I thought Ghouls only ate the dead--not Tengu.”

Teru looked exasperated. “Oh my Ghoulish god--I’m trying to ask you OUT! On a DATE! So why don’t you give me your phone number--and some of your free time--and maybe some affection--Captain_ ‘I’m boring, but somehow still kind of hot _’--and we can go from there.” 

Daichi’s face looked like he was struggling to recalibrate his bearings.

“Oh. Can’t say I was expecting you to say something like that--but why not. I admire your persistent and fighting spirit. Although, is a joint practice between our teams still on the table?”

Terushima clapped his arm around Daichi’s shoulder. “If that’s what it takes to get your phone number--sure. By the way, I’ve always wanted to tell you that you have pretty sturdy thighs for a guy who’s in the air all the time.”

Oikawa couldn’t watch this anymore. Normally, he was a fan of romance--but not while he was SINGLE. He had to get out of here. 

Rising back up (and not even bothering to be quiet--those two were in their own little world right now) he headed a random direction, telling himself he wasn’t jealous of the burgeoning new couple. At least he’d probably beat them in tonight’s hunt. 

  


***

It had been about fifteen minutes of wandering the garden and the eerie quiet was beginning to get to Oikawa. Not only that, but the openness of the sky above, crisp, cold and filled with stars, was making him feel exposed and vulnerable. He just had to pinpoint those rascally gargoyles and then he could use his mist and illusion spells without worrying about surprise attacks. 

_ Crack! _ and _ Crack! _ Oikawa heard two heavy strikes hit the ground from above, splitting the cobblestone path on impact. Two heavy creatures. _Gargoyles._ Score! Oikawa smirked to himself. _ Lucky chance~! _He had the opportunity to sneak up on them from behind!

Oikawa picked up his pace, minding the sound of his footfalls and he closed the distance. 

He wondered why he couldn’t hear any screaming or fighting. He assumed the Gargoyles had dropped in because they’d caught a passerby below.

Moving forward, the maze opened up into a circular clearing, lit by soft yellow hanging lanterns, decorated by several rustic benches, a bubbling koi pond, and pots and pots of bright flowers. Very romantic. And, usually, Oikawa would like this kind of place. Right now, he hated it. 

Oikawa pressed himself to the wall. He was a little too close for comfort. A Gargoyles sight was movement-based, and he’d rather not start a direct fight without setting up some traps first. 

Oh- and sure enough, it was the Shiratorizawa Gargoyles. Tendou and Ushiwaka-chan, in all their scary, stony glory. They were in their monster forms, looking eerie. The yellow light of garden shone soft against the sharp polished stone wings, skin, and talons of the Stone Guardians.

Beings made of solid, enchanted stone did not move like human beings. Their joints moved more stiffly, reminiscent of an automaton. Flexibility wasn’t their strong suit, but they up for it in their strength. 

Oddly enough, they hadn’t corned a victim or anything. They both looked kind of bored. Ushijima wandered around the open circle, stopping to look at the different flower species. Tendou followed, bored and not paying attention as he looked at the sky above. 

Tendou yawned and stretched, wings and joints making a strange noise as the whatever-mechanisms inside him let him move. 

“Not excited to win the pretty prize tonight, Miracle Boy?” Tendou asked nonchalantly. 

Ushijima’s normally stoic face had a slight crease in his brow and annoyance in his eyes.

“These flowers,” he gestured around the garden---

\-- “Flowahs? Tendou echoed. “Wadda about em?” 

“They’re disappointing. They haven’t been cultivated to their full potential.”

Ushiwaka kicked at the cobblestone footpath. Striking it with his stone foot caused the impact to spark a little. 

“Stone? Really? It should have been a mulch pathway. Much better for the plants and soil acidity.” He gestured to each noted and unnoted issue. “And none of these flowers have been deheaded to retrun again, but _stronger_. They have yet to truly blossom. This place shouldn’t be allowed to call itself a Maze Garden. It is merely a Maze of Disappointment.”

Geez, Ushiwaka sure was judgemental about landscaping. Though, Oikawa _ had _heard that Ushiwaka was contemplating about an agriculture degree alongside his sports offers.

“Eh? So what?” asked Tendou. “Why don’t we just swoop on the main prize and fly~ fly~ off and get out of here?”

Ushijima shook his head. “The greenery here is all sub-par. I doubt the Loveluck Lilium is a worthy trophy, if it was grown in this poorly irrigated desert. I have no interest in this contest.”

He gently touched the underside of a rose with a long, wicked, talon. “I wish to remain here and help these pitiful creatures reach their full potential.”

With a flick of his pointer finger, the rose was beheaded instantly. Ushijima continued along, slowly checking and deheading all the flowerheads he deemed unworthy. 

Oikawa frowned. Okay. Ushiwaka-chan didn’t want to compete. Whatever--worked for him. It wasn’t like Oikawa _ wanted _ to seriously beat Ushiwaka-chan and be able to gloat about it forever. Nope. He didn’t care at all.

“Ha!” Tendou barked. “Okay. You do the you you do. I don’t care about winning either.”

His giant hooked wings slowly unfurled to their full wingspan in a grating noise. “I wanna go do some FRIGHTS to the others, though. Maybe spook some Ghoulies. Pluck some Birdies. Who knows. Have fun!”

With a leap, Tendou, jumped into the sky and disappeared.

Oikawa noted his direction as he left. Well, now he had a general idea of ONE of the gargoyle’s locations. At least he could summon his mist.

He took a small blue vial from his robe sleeve and popped open the cork. Misty vapor rose into the air like morning breath, then disappeared.

Oikawa looked up into the sky. The night was still as clear as day, but edges of fog began to roll around the horizon. Perfect. In a few minutes, the whole maze would be covered in thick fog and he would be able to move about easier. The competition was his for the taking. 

_ Take that Iwa-chan! I don’t need your help to win, even if I do greatly love, miss, and appreciate you! Ha! _

Oikawa continued on his way.

Suddenly Oikawa’s gut stopped him in his tracks. He inspected the air above. The heavy mist that covered everything in a thick shroud rolled above him slightly, as if creatures with bigs wings were pushing their way through in the air. 

Oikawa kissed his hand and blew it in the direction of the suspicious movement. “Show me, Conceal me.”

The fog became translucent at his command.

Oikawa spotted one of the Karasuno Tengu slowly circling above the maze. He could make out silvery hair and large, fluffy wings. Ah. It was the second in command, Mr. Refreshing. And he, like Daichi, was traveling alone.

Mr. Refreshing seemed to have spotted something, and was descending. Oikawa followed without a care. Unlike gargoyles, Tengu couldn’t see through enchantments, so Oikawa was_ completely _concealed as Mr. Refreshing slowly swooped down, gracefully landing on his feet to begin leisurely walking along the path, humming to himself a bit. 

Mr. Refreshing was probably the least intimidating and the most well mannered Tengu Oikawa had ever met. Oikawa feared him the most for that reason. That, and Mr. Refreshing also had a nastier inclination for mischief than his Captain. 

_ Thunk! _

In a flash, a large, angular body dropped from the sky like a meteor, stone underneath cracking with the strike.

Tendou had dropped in front of Sugawara in a flash.

Oikawa flinched at the impact, despite being a good distance away from the ambush. Sugawara did not.

Looked like Shiratorizawa had come across Vice-Captain Crow. What _ hijinx _, Oikawa thought.

“Lemme guess. Crow Cap’n told all~ the other birdies to split up and harass the stragglers, while _ he _ goes for the prize,” said Tendou, cracking his talons one by one, excitedly.

Sugawara smiled patiently back at him, flashing two rows of beautiful white teeth. “No, we just split up for the fun of it.”

Oikawa had reason to suspect that Mr. Refreshing, ever and always clever, had probably spotted Tendou and walked under his strike zone on purpose. _ Scary. _

“Aren’t birds of a feather supposed to flock together?” Tendou sang. “Birdies flitting about by themselves seem more likely to be TAKEN OUT.”

Sugawara laughed out loud, graciously and with no fear or acknowledgment of any possible danger. Mr. Refreshing sure was good at keeping his cool.

  
“Taken out?” Sugawara echoed, pointer finger touching his bottom lip. His expression looked thoughtful. “It is a lovely evening. I’d _ love _ to be taken out on a date with you. Sounds delightful.”

The gargoyle’s lips had started to turn into a sneer, as if he were ready to say something spiteful back. A confused expression wrinkled across his face instead. The tip of one of his clawed wings scratched his head quizzically. This wasn’t how he planned the conversation to go. His sharp, dastardly expression shifted into comical befuddlement.

“I meant taken out violently, but . . . Date? Are you serious? You have a face like something holy and pure, but I know you’re still an evil, tricky demon boy-o under that mask.”

Sugawara made a show of stretching his wings behind him, ruffling his feathers a little. He flashed the gargoyle a winning smile. 

Oikawa remembered a time he had tried to imitate Mr. Refreshing's gentle little grin. He was giving his team a pump-up speech, and they’d all complained he looked like he was scheming to do something illegal. 

“A _ single, _ evil, tricky demon,” clarified Sugawara to Tendou.

Tendou’s expression shifted several times as he took in and considered Mr. Refreshing’s response. “Wait. This isn’t some sort of super special miracle di-VERsion technique, izzit? You charm someone into_ going on a date, _” he made air quotes with his claws, “and then we go fly~ fly~ about --then BAM! ZAP! you bring me to a TRAP! ATTACK! right?”

Sugawara shrugged, keeping his perfect smile on his face all this time. “Date, trap, there’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?” He winked at the gargoyle. “Both sound pretty good time to me, either way.”

Tendou considered things for a minute, grinding the tips of his stone talons together, making several sparks as he considered. Eventually, he shrugged. 

“Ok, Holy Demon Birdie, let’s go on an Attack-Date. _ Wakatoshi!! _ is having fun by himself, so I can do whatever I want _ tooooooo. _Besides, I think I found the real prize.”

Sugawara lightly clapped his hands together. “Wonderful!” He put a hand above his eyes and stared up into the mist swirling above. “Why don’t we get out of this fog, it has a taste of gloomy desperation about it.”

Tendou spread out his stony, sharp wings, while Mr. Refreshing readied his fluffy, bulky black wings. 

With a push-off, Tendou disappeared above. Sugawara waited for a second, then turned towards Oikawa’s direction and winked.

Oikawa froze, but Sugawara disappeared soon after. Guess he hadn’t been as sneaky as he thought he was being.

Also, on a positive, Oikawa could probably count those two out of the competition for now, but... that whole exchange was _ weird. _ The Scary Guess Monster and Mr. Refreshing? Sugawara Koushi could probably have any man he wanted, so why was he going for the creepy gargoyle? It had to be a trap. _ Right? _ But . . . Sugawara _ was _ a Tengu and Tengu were pretty strange. Daichi hadn’t rejected that Ghoul who was hitting on him either, so...

Whatever. He was going to ignore that one of the scary Shiratorizawa monsters had scored a hot date tonight, while he remained single. He was certainly closer by now. 

*** 

Oikawa could feel the end drawing near, but didn’t feel as elated as he thought he would. This was pointless. Everyone _ knew _ the Loveluck Lilium wasn’t real. He wished Iwa-chan was here--at least so he could complain about it to someone. He shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of the pointless flower. 

Up ahead, Oikawa heard two sets of footsteps. Two people. Near the end. Traveling in a pair? Ugh--another couple. Daichi and Terushima, Sugawara and Tendou, Ushiwaka and gardening, was everybody going to get a date tonight except him?

It was the two 2nd years--Ennoshita Chikara, the future successor to the Karasuno Tengu, and Futakuchi, the recently christened leader of the Iron Wall Guardians. 

And from Oikawa’s position, it sounded like bickering. 

Good. Not everybody in this maze had to get along. Maybe he’d get to see another fight.

Oikawa was impressed that the second years had gotten this far ahead with the Mist he had prepared. Of course, Futakuchi, also being a gargoyle, was unaffected by hexes and spells. The Iron Wall Gargoyles were forged of refined Iron, created to be protectors of the meek and defenseless and able to shield the innocent from malicious hexes and spells. The fog moved out of his way as Futakuchi walked through the maze, slowly, heavily, in his cast iron body. 

Unlike Shiratorizawa, Futakuchi’s metal body moved fluidly, as comfortable as a human would. Trailing behind Futakuchi, Ennoshita had tucked his wings comfortably behind his back, not anticipating an attack, causally following.

Oikawa wondered if the Mini-Tengu was following the Iron Gargoyle to take advantage of the spell deflection, or if they also were dating somehow (like everyone else in this stupid maze). 

“Stop following me. You can fly. Why not use your wings to buzz off,” complained Futakuchi to Ennoshita.

Oh good. They really weren’t getting along.

“Nah. I’m gonna stick close,” answered Ennoshita, walking several feet behind Futakuchi, a calmness in his expression. “Some Witch here is going a little extra in their illusionment spells, and if I stay by you I won’t get trapped in it.”

Futakuchi shot Ennoshita a cold glare. “I’m meant to defend the defenseless, not the wicked. Shoo.”

Ennoshita looked above contemplatively. “Mm, I really don’t like the feel of this spell, blocking the sky. I think that it could be a trap set for the anxious winged creatures that might want to fly up out of the mist. I don’t mind staying grounded here, with you.”

Futakuchi whipped around to yell at Ennoshita. “Oh, it must be so awful to not be able to _ fly, _ sorry you have to walk on the stupid ground!”

That was a bit of an overreaction. Despite having little tiny ornamental wings fashioned to their backs, the Iron Wall clan were too dense to fly, unlike the Shiratorizawa Guardians. Guess being flightless was a bit of a sensitive spot for them. Or at least it was to Futakuchi.

Ennoshita blinked slowly. His face wasn’t very expressive but Oikawa could read that he was slightly taken aback.

“No . . . I mean, I really don’t _ mind _ walking. Not all. No creature is built equally,” he said, trying to diffuse any tension.

Oikawa rolled his eyes. This conversation was boring. Maybe he could get them to fight. With a flick of his pinky finger, he slowly coaxed a tree root to come out of the ground. (He had taken it upon himself to dabble in some Floramancy, because one day he had planned on hurting Ushiwaka with the thing he loved most.) 

Brow furrowed in concentration, Oikawa flicked his finger, raising the root to jut out just ever so slightly--

“Ah! Dang it!” exclaimed Futakuchi, foot catching on the root and twisting as he fell back. 

“Watch out!” Ennoshita yelled, quickly reaching out his arm to catch Futakuchi, digging his feet into the ground and spreading his wings out to brace himself.

Unfortunately, Tengu had light bodies and Gargoyles had very heavy bodies. Ennoshita refused to let go and was thusly pulled down with him, landing on Futakuchi’s chest.

Ugh. What was Oikawa doing, _ watching a bad romcom? _

“Get off me!” Futakuchi yelled. Ennoshita was too dazed to respond to him immediately after hitting his head against his iron chest. 

With no response, Futakuchi simply brushed him to the side. Ennoshita rolled on the ground and laid there quietly, before he was able to muster himself up, hand over his forehead. 

Meanwhile, Futakuchi attempted to rock himself up off the ground, to no effect. A look of angry annoyance flashed across his face when he realized his wings had gotten stuck into the ground from the impact of his body weight. He struggled a bit more, yielding no result, before he resigned himself to his fate and crossed his arms, looking up to the sky and cursing the stars he could not see. 

Ennoshita stumbled back to him once he regained his senses, grabbing onto Futakuchi’s crossed arms.

“Lemme help you up,” and he started trying to pull Futakuchi onto his feet, legs digging into the ground, face reddening with effort. He even spread his crow wings and flapped them to gain some extra lift, but it helped with nothing besides blowing clouds of dust into Futakuchi’s face with each flap.

Ennoshita stopped when he realized this strategy wasn’t working.  


“Too heavy,” he said simply, and dropped onto his knees to begin digging the gargoyle out of the soil with his bare hands.

“You don’t need to help me, go on yourself. We’re close to the end. _ Go win _.” said Futakuchi. “This is embarrassing enough for me.”

Ennoshita kept digging. “I don’t need to win. The prize this year is only a flower. No sane person is going to be seriously competing for it. We’re only competing for the satisfaction of saying we won. I wasn’t going to compete anyway but Suga said messing around was fun and I should go for it. So . . .” He kept digging, words ending.

“I thought you guys were supposed to be cruel and opportunistic,” said Futakuchi, in a harsher tone than necessary, probably to aggravate Ennoshita to leave him alone, “some Tengu you are.”

Ennoshita’s lips turned down and a shadow fell over his face. He kept digging, slower than before and otherwise unresponsive to Futakuchi’s statement.

“Hey,” Futakuchi raised an arm and tapped Ennoshita’s forehead.

Surprised, Ennoshita started a little.

“We of the Iron Wall can sense a change in heart. I wasn’t _ tryin _ g to make you sad from that statement. I was _ trying _ to make you mad. What’s your deal?”

“Well, uh, It’s fine. I don’t have to get into it . . .” said Ennoshita, looking to the side, embarrassed. 

“Well,_ I _ didn’t want to get defeated by a tree root tonight. And _ you _ didn’t have to help me. But here we are,” said Futakuchi.

Ennoshita took a steady breath and exhaled slowly. “Ok. I’m actually, uh, a little upset that people always think of me as a Nice Guy.”

Futakuchi gave him an incredulous look. “Why? Because you’re a Tengu? Is that a Tengu insecurity? Being too nice?”

Ennoshita looked away. “Not _ necessarily. _ We all have different personalities, of course. But I don’t like it, I guess.”

“Go on,” said Futakuchi, looking above blankly, contemplating his entire life.

“Well. Everyone expects me to be the next leader of the clan.”

“Are you against the position?”

Ennoshita sighed. “_ No _, not necessarily, but I don’t know if I’m the best for the job. Like you said, I’m not a particularly cunning or malicious Tengu. I know everyone expects me to follow Daichi’s example, but I’m not sure I can do that.”

Futakuchi scowled. “Look at this show--Next Don of Karasuno showing a sad face to the leader of a rival clan.”

“Uh, you said I could?” Ennoshita responded back, confusedly. 

Futakuchi flicked Ennoshita’s forehead, strong enough that he fell back on the ground on his butt. 

“Ow,” Ennoshita exclaimed boredly. 

Futakuchi cleared his throat and avoided eye contact with Ennoshita. “I’m not a Tengu, so I can’t speak for their sake. But I am a Guardian of the Iron Wall. Forged from the purest steel, the defenders of the defenseless, champions of the meek, yadda yadda, upholders of justice. We were all crafted to be of utmost moral character, you know, quiet, firm, gentle, strong but silent types. And if you haven’t noticed, I’m not the _ most _ courteous person you’ve ever met. I’ve gotten a lot of flack from the elders when I was voted next leader by my peers. _ “Not polite enough. He doesn’t use the proper words to address his elders. He’s immature.” _ But I got the job--and I took it--because--I figured--maybe the best person to be in charge of a straight-laced bunch of do-gooders isn’t a job for someone who is naive. What better type of character to lead the pure of heart and body than someone who has got a bit of a mean bend? At least, that’s what my Senpai said.”

Ennoshita stared at Futakuchi, absorbing his words.

Futakuchi sighed, then put a hand over his forehead as he continued. “Well--what I’m trying to say in _ your _ case--your team wants you to be the next leader, because the best Don for a group of rowdy misfits is someone with a clear mind and even temper. Someone who can keep them in line. Like your current captain. I’ve seen the bunch of troublemakers on your team. You’re the undisputed choice for their next leader.”

Ennoshita took a second to process the information, then slowly, unconsciously, a small smile crept across his face.

“Wow. I do actually feel a lot better. That’s a good perspective. Thank you,” said Ennoshita, sincerely.

Futakuchi refused eye contact. “Yeah . . . well, don’t go telling anyone else I was nice to you.”

“I won’t. Even though you are.”

“I am not that nice!” insisted Futakuchi. 

Oikawa realized he’d been caught up in eavesdropping on those two for a while without continuing on his way. Damn. Curse his love of interpersonal drama and Clan politics! He was a sucker for relationships with mutual respect and healthy communication skills. They were his guilty pleasure.

  


But, he was close to the goal now. Daichi and Terushima were probably still fighting, or flirting, or whatever. Ushiwaka was doing . . . whatever, and Mr. Refreshing and his creepy boyfriend were also out of the picture. He was probably going to win this thing, even without the help of his team. 

****

  


As Oikawa neared the end, he started to feel more anticipation. He even broke into a run as he rounded corner after corner, passages shortening, pathway shrinking as he got closer and closer to the center.

He wasn’t expecting to feel so happy, but he did. _ Finally, _ something was going right for him this week. He’d win this thing. 

A pale pink glow began to illuminate his surroundings. This was it! He ran around the final turn, panting.

There it was. The Loveluck Lilium. The lily rested innocently on a circular wooden table, suspended in a glass vase. Besides its pink luminescence that cast a soft pink hue on its surroundings, it looked like an everyday, unremarkable flower. Six silky pink petals with maroon stamen. 

It made him wonder if it really did have any magical potency. 

Oikawa walked over and gently plucked it from the vase.

_ Wait. _

The flower disappeared through his fingers as he was left gripping onto nothingness. 

<

What! Illusion magic? But Oikawa had been the only Witch in this competition.

“Oi.”

Oikawa spun around.

A tall, dark-haired man, about the same age as himself, was leaning near the entrance, twirling the real Lilium between his long fingers.

“Sorry, I seem to have gotten here a little earlier than you,” he smiled. Sharp canines peeked out. Vampire. 

Mr. Vampire had a smarmy i-just-beat-you-and-we-both-know-it grin and a mischievous glint in his eye. Oikawa immediately hated him with all his guts. 

Taking a polite-but-not-polite tone, Oikawa addressed the Vampire.

“Excuse me, but I can’t say that I recognize you. And I remember every important face I’ve met before. Are you sure you’re supposed to be here?”

“Not really. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. Captain of Nekoma.”

Oikawa tilted his head. “Nekoma? That’s no group from around here.”

Kuroo smiled. “It’s not. We’re from Tokyo.”

“Then what brings you out here, Mr. Kitty?” asked Oikawa, sickly sugar in his voice. 

Kuroo twirled the Lily in his fingers nonchalantly. “Oh, I have an acquaintance here and they extended an invitation. You probably know Daichi-kun, right?”

Of course the Tengu would invite such a shady guy. 

“Question!” sang Oikawa. “You’re a Dracula, correct? How exactly did you pull off that illusion spell? Vampires can’t create that kind of magic.”

“Oh _ that? _ ” Kuroo waved his hand dismissively. “I didn’t cast it. I only manipulated the spell that was already in the air with some of my _ Vampiric Influence. _ Just enough so the illusion would take shape.”

“Oh, how _ clever _,” complemented Oikawa, a brittle hollowness filling his soul. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“Eh, a friend I’ve had since childhood is a Witch. He uses illusion and mist spells all the time, mostly to escape unwanted social interactions. Either way, I’m used to seeing these types of spells.”

“_ Good _ for _ you _,” said Oikawa. Only he didn’t want good things for this man--he only wanted BAD. “What a coincidence, my friend I’ve had since childhood is a vampire.”

Kuroo perked up. “Oh, yeah, I think I talked to him this evening. That one vampire, the charming dude.”

_ Don’t just go around talking to strangers, Iwa-chan. _

“Sounds like my Iwa-chan!” said Oikawa. _ Who I could be talking to right now instead of this guy. _

Kuroo fell silent, staring at Oikawa.

“Uh, any _ problem _, Kitty-chan?” 

Kuroo released a small grin. “No. Just wondering.”

“Wondering _ what? _” Oikawa’s voice was both pleasant and venomous. 

Kuroo shrugged. 

“_ What? _” asked Oikawa again.

“I mean--you seemed a little upset that you’d lost--but it’s not like this competition is a big deal or anything.”

Oikawa turned up his nose. “I just like winning--what can I say.”

“Well you _ do _seem like that kind of personality,” said Kuroo, “Me too, actually. But are flowers worth that much?”

Oikawa’s pleasant customer service smile he was wearing tightened.

“You trying to say something to me? Just say it.”

“Well--I’m wondering. What I’ve heard this here flower is rumored to do--do you like winning or are you just looking for a date?”

_ Go away, vampire man. _

“Can’t it be Both?” said Oikawa. 

Kuroo laughed. Oikawa regretted that the competition was over, so he couldn’t take a shot at the guy anymore. 

“A talented guy like you can’t get a date? You look like the type that’d have his fans.”

Finally, Oikawa lost his fake-pleasant affectations. His face pulled into a wrinkly scowl. 

“Fine! If this night is the one where we have to bring up _ aaaaall _ my failings--I _ do _ go get lots of dates, but they never last! Girls and boys and what have you seem to prefer to give it a go only for the ‘prestige’ of having been out with me--then it’s over! I’m starting to think that I must be a shitty person, huh? Because even with these looks and high rank, it’s still not good enough for anyone to stay with me,” Oikawa ranted, “So I suppose I set myself up to lose. Guess it’s fate-- _ of course _ I didn’t win the Lilium-- _ of course _ everyone in the garden except me is hooking up--and I’m _ still _ alone and people _ still _ think I’m shallow and they all just want to use me and lose me!” 

Oikawa was out of breath by the end, panting a little.

Kuroo remained passive, offering out the Lily.

“You know--I don’t even _ want _ this--I was competing for the hell of it, really. If it means more to you...”

“I don’t need your pity token!” Oikawa rejected, secretly still actually wanting it.

“Just offering!” said Kuroo, putting his hands up in surrender. 

Oikawa brushed the snot off his face from his earlier outburst. “Why’d you compete then, Kitty, if not for the Loveluck Lilium?”

Kuroo took a moment to respond, a small coy smile spreading across his face. “Well, there was something I was kind of interested in.”

“What?” demanded Oikawa.

“You.” Kuroo winked.

What. What? What. Oh. OH. 

Oikawa’s mood spun around 180 degrees. Maybe his heart did too. 

He wiped the dampness from under his eyes, tousling his hair with a quick run-through of his fingers and adjusting his posture. “Me?” He asked coyly. “Whatever would you want with _ me? _ I’m just a humble witch. No tricks up these sleeves.”

“I’ve heard your name before, no need to be modest. Also--I was talking to your charming vampire friend--”

“Iwa-chan.”

\--“Iwa-chan, and Iwa-chan mentioned that his good friend, who he said was both the most competent and the most hopeless Witch he knew, was single and looking to start a new relationship.”

Oikawa was feeling much better than he had all week. Maybe he didn’t hate Mr. Vampire’s guts. Maybe Mr. Vampire was kind of handsome. Tall. Iwa-chan approved. Stupid hair that somehow worked for him. Clearly sociable. Cute vampire fangs that stuck out over his bottom lip, just a little. Iwa-chan never let Oikawa touch his fangs, no matter how much he begged. Oikawa got the feeling he’d be able to touch this guy’s fangs, though. If he asked. 

Oikawa sauntered over closer to Kuroo and leaned his right hand against the wall, placing it levely next to Kuroo’s head to get into his space. _ Kabe-don. _

“Oh? You wanna go out with me, Kitty?”

Kuroo’s posture remained rigid. “I sure would like to. You seem like a lot of fun.”

“Fun?” Oikawa echoed dangerously. “I’ll have you know I’m not going to be just your quick little bit of _ fun, _ Kitty-Chan.” 

“I’m not expecting you to be.”

Oikawa surveyed him up and down. “And what makes you think I’d even go _ out _ with a shady vampire like you?” he asked. “I hope you don’t think I’m _ desperate _ just because I’m single.” 

“Well, I like to think I’m also a lot of fun. And I’m not _ that _shady. I am a good and honest vam-person.” Kuroo stated simply, no trace of sarcasm.

Oikawa brought his hand down and stepped back. 

“I get to be the judge of that, not you,” he dismissed flippantly. 

“Is that a yes then, Witch?”

“Hmmm . . .” Oikawa really needed to stop the teasing at some point, he was feeling a real power rush right now. “Maybe. Just let me give you one warning.”

“Sure.”

“You bite me, I bite back.”

Kuroo grinned, lips pulling up to reveal more of his long canines. “Sounds fair.”

“Fine,” conceded Oikawa. He offered a hand out to Kuroo, who took it. “Let’s get out of here. I’m bored now.”

Before they left, Oikawa took the flower from Kuroo and returned it to its vase.

“What, you don’t want it?” asked Kuroo. 

Oikawa’s armed linked up with Kuroo’s.

“I don’t need a superstition to find my own happiness.” 


End file.
